Letting Go In a Cold, Cold Season

This winter season has definitely been lion-esque so far! (Does that make sense?) Not much unlike how I'm feeling about my life. I am reflecting on the choices I've made & thinking of how my current "life season" is similar to the weather outside.
One thing that has always challenged my sensibilities is change. I want so badly to hold onto what once was so wonderful - or at least comfortable - that I end up losing my grip on things that are more important in this present time. That is when things start to fall apart. Sometimes things, people, even places from our past ought to be let go of before we lose ourselves in attempting to recreate that which was only meant to be during the time it originally existed.
I have spent a lot of time this week clearing out clutter in different areas of my house just because I felt like it, not as any sort of New Year's resolution, but simply because it is time to stop holding onto things that are no longer beneficial to me and are just sitting around not being cared for properly. (This is very significant for me because being clutter-free is one of the biggest challenges in my life.) It is just time to let go.
I have known for awhile that a particular situation had long since changed seasons from summer, to fall, to winter, but I didn't think I was ready to let go so I tried to hang on to the summer.

A Hawk I watched eating a mouse behind my house

I tried in vain to keep the leaves from falling off, tears, broken promises, etc. Not only did winter come, but it hit me like a blizzard, as if it had decided to punish me for trying to keep it away. (As you can see, I love my metaphors. :-))
Now that it's here, I am almost relieved. No matter how inconvenient it may be, the snow is undeniably beautiful. Who can look at a blanket of snow and not be filled with wonder or a flood of memories?
I will accept this winter because I have faith that spring will come again just like it always does. It may not be exactly like the last spring, but it will still be beautiful. The next summer will probably be different, but it will be warm and sunny.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-6

1To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

2A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

3A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

4A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

5A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

6A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

Where Is Thy Sting?

Oh, Death, where is thy sting? For those left behind, it is everywhere. Because of my faith, I know that my loved ones are experiencing a glory that cannot be compared to the sufferings of this present time and for that, I have joy. However, for me, it is as though I own a mansion with many rooms and each time a person is gone, it is like a room gets permanently sealed off. The light will never come back on. The windows are shuttered and we can never go back and experience the joy we felt in that room and no new memories will be made in that room. My house has lost several rooms in the past few months and it keeps getting smaller! I just cried last Monday over the loss I experienced in April and - unexpectedly - and just last Thursday, another light was permanently extinguished, another door sealed off. If I didn't know God, know Christ, this would be too much for me to withstand. I now completely understand why there are hermits, and old recluses. They cut themselves off from everyone so they don't have to experience the pain of caring for, loving, enjoying someone's presence, only to have them gone without notice. It takes a piece of your heart away.
I would love to shield my children from this. I would love to just pack my family up and take them deep into the woods so that we don't have to see anyone, so that we can be distant from them and avoid the sorrow when it comes time to lose another loved one.

To my friends and family, I apologize that sometimes I don't communicate. It's so much easier to hear all the great things about someone at their funeral and think, "I wish I had gotten to know them better," and leave knowing a small nightlight is gone from your hallway, than to truly know and love how great they were and feel a chunk of your heart gone.
I understand that God has a plan for each of us, on Earth as well as in Heaven. I know He calls  people when they have fulfilled their purpose here, or when He can better use them in the spiritual realm, but why can't we still talk to them? Or at least why can't I talk to them? Why can't I send them a text message just to say, "Hey," and get a quick response back?
That's where faith comes in. It is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. Because of my faith, I know that I will see them again and it will feel like we just saw each other yesterday. Because of my faith, I will take time to grieve in order to release these emotions back to God, but I will know that I will get better, that I will go on. I know that my "mansion" will continue to have more rooms sealed off, but that more rooms will also be added, perhaps even another wing or two. :-)
It stings now, but these wounds will heal with the passage of time and for that, I am grateful and will continue to have joy and peace.