I have hesitated to post because I just feel like complaining.
I realize that I am immensely blessed, but the complaining is not so much about what I don't have, it's more about what I do, or don't do.
I certainly understand now why my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and pretty much any person older than me at the time told me to go straight to college, finish college, then worry about the rest of my life after that. Everybody but me seemed to know what I would end up doing. It's almost as if they were looking at a window above my head that showed a view of my future. Here I am, up past 2:00 a.m., not studying, married with 4 kids, trying to fit everything into my life like it's a 20 year-old pair of (cheap) jeans - bursting at the seams, with holes starting to wear through in unflattering places.
I just want to get something over with. I want to know what my life is supposed to look like.
11For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome. Jer. 29:11