My husband started this tradition with our oldest daughter when she was in kindergarten (maybe even daycare) where he would go to her school in the middle of the day and bring her a ridiculous amount of gifts: roses, tons of candy, stuffed animals, balloons, and whatever else he could think of. (I would say "whatever else he could think of that she could reasonably carry home on the bus," but I think he's forgotten about the bus some years LOL) Me, being the penny-pincher, have always felt he went a bit overboard and when we were expecting our youngest daughter, I warned him that he was going to have to keep up, but that didn't worry him. Eventually, I washed my hands of it and let him do what he does because they love it so much.
Obviously, it's nice to show our kids love and give them nice things for Val-day, but my husband wants to do more than that. His whole motivation is that his girls get so used to getting flowers and nice things for Val-day that, once they get older, they don't just accept any old thing that some little boy decides to get them - these little boys must come correct! LOL Also, it's not just about material things, but about the thought they put into it. My girls are not going to be blown away the first time some guy gives them flowers because they've had that before.
|"Too much of a good thing is wonderful."|
A prime example: Black Ink. (First let me tell you, I REALLY try not to get into these foolish so-called "reality" shows, but if they happen to be on TV, I'm almost like a moth to a flame - except for those extra-foolish ones like Bad Girls Club that serve no purpose other than attempting to turn men on by displaying ridiculous cat-fights and drunkenness - but that's just my opinion.) Anyway, I happened to get engrossed into an episode of Black Ink Crew - the show about the black-owned tattoo shop in Harlem. I normally wouldn't even watch this show because I don't care anything about tattoos, but the people are interesting. So, one of the artists is getting involved with the owner of the shop and he gives her flowers on their first official date and she gets all teary-eyed and says no guy has ever done something like that for her before. Huh??!!
Now, let me say a few things:
1. How old is she and is this the first guy she's ever dated? (I'm guessing not, b/c after the date she mentions to him what she wants to do and it doesn't seem first-time-ish to me)
2. Come on guys! Flowers? That's too much to ask nowadays? I realize that there are plenty of women who say they don't like and/or care about flowers, but there's nothing wrong with spending a little money to get a woman you care about something beautiful.
3. I've made mistakes, and definitely dated some losers, but I've always known that a guy who doesn't do little things (like flowers, chocolates, or even writing love letters) isn't worth being with and definitely not worth ME giving ANYTHING to him - time to move on.
4. I am thankful that I'll never have to worry about this from my girls. Their dad has set the standard high AND they have seen him demonstrate these things with me on Val-day - I always get a little bit more than they get and I also get flowers and other gifts on non-occasions, just because he wanted to brighten my day. :-) So chivalry ain't dead!
I guess my message is both to dads and women. Dads - if you want your daughters to end up with men who are better than you, or at least as good as you, set the standards high early on. Make sure they see that the man in their life is supposed to make them feel special and valuable, and even make sure that other people (i.e. their friends at school) see this. You don't have to go overboard (like my husband does at times :-) ), but make sure they feel your presence and your love. That makes it more likely that they won't settle for some user/loser.
Women - just because a guy gives you flowers, doesn't mean you have to return the favor (hopefully you get my drift, I try to keep this blog PG).
|Tulips - one of my favs!|
I'm now thankful that my husband goes a little overboard for Val-day and I accept it with open arms - especially while I'm eating chocolate! LOL